Obamacare Speech Simplified

The following is a simplified translation of Obama's healthcare speech.

I know the economy still sucks, you have no money,your kids can't go to college and you still have no job. Don't Worry. Change is coming. I feel your pain.

I do blame you and still blame Bush. All Americans are greedy and evil. You get what you deserve. Suffering.

But let's not talk about the economy it's tanking let's change the subject.

ObamaCare. Other Marxist Socialists have tryed to put American's Health in the hands of the Government. FDR, Carter,Clinton just to name a few. I have another modified number of those without insurance it is 30 million. From 50 to 30. See it's working already. I'll tell you a few undocumented horror stories that people can identify with to prove my point and scare you. And did I say I feel your pain.

Health care costs are on the rise to small business and their employees and it's because of you. You evil people who don't buy health insurance and we have to pay your bill through our premiums. Again it's your fault. Tort Reform and government taxes and overregulation has nothing to do with it. Really.

But what we in DC are really worried about is you darn old people that paid all those social security taxes. Dang nabit you are living longer and longer and those general funds from the yearly Social Security tax surplus we used for pork is getting smaller and smaller. We have to stop that. Our gravy train is dying.

Every one in Washington is worried. Without pork they might not be re- elected or have the funding from their pack money. They all agree something needs to be done.

We looked a number of scams to pawn off on the American people but darn it they just wouldn't buy them. I'm just plain frustrated and mad very mad and you all just need to stop all this bickering. I need my money!

We've paid off every special interest group we can think of and besides we've forced socialized medicine on the elderly and the military because they have no choice. Why don't you all just go a long.

We will offer tax credits for small business even though that won't help.

It's untrue we'll cover illegal aliens. That is until we grant them amnesty. We need the votes.

We will force everyone to have health insurance although unlike cars you can't decide not to have a body.

All insurance companies are evil and greedy. It's their fault.

Free Speech on TV Radio and the internet is evil.

This plan won't cost anything. Trillion Smillion....

I will intimidate and frighten you into my plan so I can take over America. So, stop fighting me. I will rule the world. Hail Obama Hail Obama Hail Obama And don't forget the American people are lying to themselves about me and my plans. I'm good you're evil. Remember that.